Thou Hath Taught Me to Say -- It is Well

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 “when peace like a river attendeth my way

 

when sorrows like sea billows roll

 

whatever my lot, thou hath taught me to say.

 

it is well

 

it is well with my soul.”

 

 

I have heard this old hymn probably thousands of times and have sang it when I’ve felt both peace and sorrow. Yet, never simultaneously, until now. About a week before I moved, my mom and I traveled to Passion City Church on a Sunday that Pastor Louie (my fave) didn’t even preach. But the band sang this hymn in the middle of the service, and it preached loud and clear. 

 

Peace: Knowing I am in the exact middle of God’s will by moving to Africa. Working so hard to create my own internship program as the security threat kept rising but getting approved by my school even at a Level 5 Travel Advisory. Having literally three minutes to board my plane in an unfamiliar airport once I was in security. Moving across the world with only one month funded but seeing God’s provision the whole way. I could list so many miracles that got me here. Deep in my heart there is an overwhelming peace that I know is from the Lord that truly passes all understanding of why I would move to another continent to care for kids that I didn’t even give birth to, let alone even know most of their parents or families. 

 

Sorrow: Being literally 5,000 miles away from most of my favorite people and being 6 hours ahead so even FaceTime is difficult. Not being able to hop in the car to play cards with my Padre or road trip with my Madre, or drive to go nap on friends’ couches and snuggle their kids. Having lots of kids here to snuggle but still earning their trust and knowing that they are here because their family didn’t care for them in the first place. Living in a country whose baseline is stress, and trauma. Knowing there are 12-year-olds in our neighborhood and all around being bought for marriage, only to be abused and divorced by the time they’re 30. The chaos in Afghanistan. Freaking Covid-19. All of it. Just all of it sometimes is really hard and sorrowful. 

 

YET – it is well. Because I know God wins. I know that literally no matter what, Jesus is coming back, and He is our banner of victory. I know that He is good. He is love. He has never, ever failed me, or anyone. He never will leave us or forsake us. There is a great big, beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day. We have to have courage and fight the good fight. He cares so much even for the flowers of the field that are here today and gone tomorrow. How much more does He care for us? When we get sad, when we let others down, when we have peace like a rushing river – He cares for us and He sees us. Thank you, Jesus. 

 

I am so grateful for both sorrow and overwhelming peace. Also grateful for grace to put my hand to the plow and not look back but knowing I have so many friends cheering me on. Thank you, Jesus.

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