Desert Places

When I was in America this summer, it was fun but pretty chaotic. I was constantly on the go - which again was fun and I was thankful for the opportunity to do lots of things and see lots of people, but it got crazy at times. I was recovering from the first 9 months in a fourth-world country of which the last 3 were pretty grief stricken. Needless to say, my brain was all over the place and so was I, physically. 

The week before I left to come back to Niger, I went out to eat with one of my mentors and someone I deeply respect and value the opinion of. She looked me right in the eye and said, "KK, I don't have any doubt that God has called you to Niger for this season and He is using you. But I think that He also has put you in the desolate desert and hard places to be alone with Him to sort out some things in your life." I 100% believe she was right. 

So I've been back for a little over two months at this point and "order" is a word that has constantly been coming to mind. I feel like I am in a good season to take inventory of my life and unpack + process the things that have shaped me, good and bad. I want to let God use all of my past experiences for His glory but I need to know what those things are in order to do that. 

In the beginning of September, I started counseling (in Niger!!!) with an American missionary. It is so crazy to me that I have tried many tele-health options and even had one counselor, who I thought was a perfect match, not show up to our Zoom meetings. I see now that God had a great person for me to meet face-to-face with, and I am so thankful. If you've ventured on the counseling journey, you know what a daunting task it can be and this is just another way that I've seen His goodness in this desert.

So speaking of desert, about the same time I started meeting with my counselor, I started a new Bible study by myself. Last semester, there were organized community bible studies that pretty much every woman in the missionary community was a part of. Things are different this semester and again, I thought I would be so sad about it, but I wouldn't have started my current study in Numbers if I was in a group study. 

When I jumped on the First5 app (by recommendation of a great friend and mentor) I was kind of bummed that Numbers was the current plan on the app. However, when I started reading the intro I just started laughing. 

"The book of Numbers is about God giving order in the wilderness."

HELLO. You can't tell me there isn't a God who deeply cares about every detail of our lives. This was just too perfect. The intro goes on to explain that "wilderness or desert symbolizes challenge and isolation." Boom. I literally live in the Sahara Desert. Not only am I away from all of my family, I'm single in a family saturated field, and living in a place with extreme heat, where 99% of its people are Muslim and closed to the Gospel, yep it is challenging. So, isolation and challenge - check. As I was sweating in my living room reading the words of the introduction in this Bible app, I was taken right back to eating with my friend in Birmingham. It was such a sweet confirmation that yes, the desert (physically or metaphorically) is difficult, but God is a God of order and he cares about us. 

"The wilderness is also a place of closeness with God: an opportunity to hear him speak, learn lessons with him and travel with Him on a spiritual journey." When I first moved to Niger many people would tell me "you are going on a sweet adventure with Jesus." I am so honored that He wants to take us places, and thankful that I am truly living in the desert in this season.

I feel the challenge and isolation of the desert in many ways, but I know I am never alone and it is not forever. If you are in a challenging season of life, I really hope this post encourages you. It's crazy to think after reading in the book of Numbers about all of the clear instruction and grace that God gave the Israelites in the desert after escaping Egypt, they would still spend 38 years in the wilderness. But God, He was faithful and showed up for them and led them each and every day.