Kerra in Africa

I'm writing this on the morning of my 29th birthday and reflecting on how good God is to have kept me under the shadow of His wings -- the safest place for me to be.  This time last year, I had abruptly left a ministry position that also served as my housing and 80% of my community in a new place only 5,659 miles away from my family and all I had known for 28 years. (No big deal, right?!) On my 28th birthday I woke up surrounded by moving boxes in a new place, spent the day with the first class of kindergarteners that I had ever taught, and had dinner and dessert, and played games with a few fun and very generous friends. Sure, social media made everything look secure, but I spent most of my 28th birthday napping (coping) and wondering what had happened.  I felt like I had been pushed off a cliff and I remember praying that God would catch me. You know how when you're almost asleep and you feel like you're falling down a flight of stairs and your whole body jumps? That was ...

When I was in America this summer, it was fun but pretty chaotic. I was constantly on the go - which again was fun and I was thankful for the opportunity to do lots of things and see lots of people, but it got crazy at times. I was recovering from the first 9 months in a fourth-world country of which the last 3 were pretty grief stricken. Needless to say, my brain was all over the place and so was I, physically.  The week before I left to come back to Niger, I went out to eat with one of my mentors and someone I deeply respect and value the opinion of. She looked me right in the eye and said, "KK, I don't have any doubt that God has called you to Niger for this season and He is using you. But I think that He also has put you in the desolate desert and hard places to be alone with Him to sort out some things in your life." I 100% believe she was right.  So I've been back for a little over two months at this point and "order" is a word that has constantly been...

A few months ago I was walking with a friend in Niger (because there’s not much else to do there) and I told her I knew I was sad and struggling because I didn’t care about the little things anymore. Such as, the beautiful birds in my compound, the plumeria tree outside of my door, the mystery of who I would see in the day, the bright turquoise feathers on the ground that I normally believed God dropped just for me… I was numb. It wasn’t easy for me to tell her that, but as soon as I got it out she looked at me and just said “I know, me too.”   Then I went back to Alabama for summer break and honestly just for some time to heal and try a couple different forms of therapy.  One morning in late July I got to walk one of my favorite trails in Birmingham. After months of micro-current neuro feedback therapy and mood stabilizing supplements, I noticed the birds again. I stopped for butterflies, I captured pictures of the sun shining through the trees to look back on the day that ...

Tonight, I fly home for Christmas. I will celebrate my college graduation (roll tide) in a place very special to me then fly to Birmingham to spend a short three weeks with as many people as I can before returning to Africa. The last four months being here has taught me more than I can even process at the moment. This semester, I have had the wonderful opportunity to "intern" at a children's home and ended up doing way more than being at The Oasis. I taught kindergarten and will continue that until May. I built lots of relationships within the missionary community. I was able to purchase a car, (PTL) and fumbled my way through town and markets and police checkpoints, and that was an experience in and of itself.    Words fail me when I try to describe what I have experienced in the last four months. Except one phrase:  people over productivity.  As a college intern, I came here with a checklist. I literally had a learning contract that listed goals under nine differen...

Let me just be honest, the only word that comes to mind as I try to describe the past six-ish weeks since I have last posted is "HARD." The past couple months have been extremely hard. Life here has been extremely harder than I could have ever planned or prepared for.  But there is a flip side -- God is good. Scripture tells me that His yoke is EASY and His burden is light. The exact opposite of what this missionary life offers. In addition, I have been learning (very clearly) that if I love my life, I will lose it. If I choose the things I want over the things God wants, then I am not living the life God desires for me. It sounds so simple writing that out, but I have been wrestling with this truth for weeks. In fact, Jesus taught His disciples that this life really is hard, but we can have peace when we are focused on Him.  Wrestling is exhausting, it is tiring and has weighed me down. Especially when in the moment, I don't know why or what I am wrestling. Of course now...

  “when peace like a river attendeth my way   when sorrows like sea billows roll   whatever my lot, thou hath taught me to say.   it is well   it is well with my soul.”     I have heard this old hymn probably thousands of times and have sang it when I’ve felt both peace and sorrow. Yet, never simultaneously, until now. About a week before I moved, my mom and I traveled to Passion City Church on a Sunday that Pastor Louie (my fave) didn’t even preach. But the band sang this hymn in the middle of the service, and it preached loud and clear.    Peace: Knowing I am in the exact middle of God’s will by moving to Africa. Working so hard to create my own internship program as the security threat kept rising but getting approved by my school even at a Level 5 Travel Advisory. Having literally three minutes to board my plane in an unfamiliar airport once I was in security. Moving across the world with only one month funded but seeing God’s provision t...